The beginning of this semester, hell this entire summer, has been insanely hectic and filled with uncertainty.
At the end of Spring semester I was certain that I would be attending Willamette University in Salem, Oregon. That changed at the beginning of the summer for many reasons:
- I would not have been able to get any good classes because I was so low on the priority list due to being a transfer student.
- The school was really expensive. It is a good school, don’t get me wrong, but each semester would have come out to around $30,000, of which I don’t have. This point also ties in to number 1 because frankly, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so it would not have made sense for me to pay minimum of $100,000 to get my Bachelor’s in something that I’m not even sure I wanted.
- I really enjoy Santa Barbara. Yes, it’s expensive but it’s insanely gorgeous and the weather can not be beat. Because it is so expensive I know that once I leave here I will never have a chance to live here again, so I better enjoy it while I can.
- I have family and friends here. It’s always hard for me to meet new people and make friends, and I finally have some here so I really didn’t want to have to go through the effort and uncertainty of having to do it all over again.
Overall, I’m happy with the choice, I think. I do wish I could have gone to the school but more so I wish it would have been feasible for me to do so.
So, seeing as in May I thought I’d be moving to another state come August I didn’t not bother to register for any classes for the upcoming Fall semester. I usually have classes picked out the first day I’m eligible to register, and I’ve never had to crash a class before, so the first week of Fall semester was a stressful time when I tried to get classes (especially the Astronomy lab I needed in order to meet the requirements to get into UCSB).
This summer I also decided I wanted to be a dentist, so in order to prevent myself from wasting a semester I attempted to crash two biology courses. I was able to get into them but within the second week I had realized I was way over my head in regards to understanding. I ended up dropping those two classes (despite luckily being able to crash them) and am sticking to my original schedule this semester, practically wasting it. I am taking a couple of classes that I want to take, just for the fun of it.
Now, unfortunately, I’m second guessing the entire thought of being a Dentist. I mean, it offers everything I want in a career: freedom, ability to be my own boss, tons of money and job security. But I’m not passionate about it. I’d be settling, but being a doctor isn’t something you “settle” in to. My problem is I’m not passionate about any type of career whatsoever. The only thing I’m kinda interested in doing is being an Air Force officer. Problems with that is it doesn’t offer the type of security I want: to be able to stay in one house without having to move. I’m not worried about the danger or deployments, I just hate moving so very much. I also, for some odd reason, have it in my head that I want to move to Canada.
Besides lacking passion in anything I also like skill. I’m kinda good at history, a little bit, but not much. I’m just really good at remembering dates. I suck horribly at science and math, subjects that offer me the best pay and job security.
So I’m just sitting here, waiting for lightning to strike and I figure out the next step.
